Christian Siriano for Payless (Peep Toe Preview)

I mentioned about 10 days ago that I had found a few pairs of Christian Siriano's collection for Payless online, and upon doing so I quickly ordered a pair of the black ankle-strap peep toes. Turns out that was a complete fluke, readers- I don't think I was supposed to be able to order them. The collection is now completely off the site (with "COMING SEPTEMBER 8th!" prominently displayed on the shoeless page dedicated to Mr. Siriano) but oh ho, I still got the black peep toes. YOUR MISTAKE, PAYLESS. YOUR MISTAKE.

(I told Husband I got the shoes early because I am apparently super awesome and must now hold a lot of power in the world of fashion blogging, to which he replied, "Yes, I am sure that is exactly it." but we were on the phone so I couldn't tell if he was making his sarcastic face or not. I hope he was. I love that face.)

(Now I'm making my sarcastic face. Ha HA.)

So anyway, here they are. For being a $35 pair of shoes, the "leather" (it's all manmade upper, of course, so fake leather) is nice and soft with a bit of a matte sheen to it. The fit is comfy (they are 4" heels so I wouldn't run a 10k in them but you know- comfy for what they are) and I love that the ankle strap is removable. To get an idea of this outfit, I was bored and playing dress-up and perhaps on pain killers for the AWFUL TOOTH DEBACLE (you've been warned) and this is what I was originally wobbling around in wearing:

To this:

I love Petunia's head in the last two. Kitty is totally terrified, and Peets is totally jealous.

Two up-close pictures:


Oh, how I love wobbling around in a good cone heel.

Regrettably, I did not get a shot of the bright blue bottoms on these bad boys. You try balancing on one foot after popping a Vicoprofin, 'kay? I do find the bright blue bottoms kind of fun, but also a bit of a slightly annoying delineation of the red soled Louboutins and I expected more from my favorite ferociously fierce half-pint. But I also realize that he was working with Payless, and obviously Payless has restraints on what is marketable for them, so I see the flow of thinking there. Spikes no, Louboutin copy yes. Fart.

Overall I really like these shoes and can't wait to pair them with more outfits, but lamentably I will likely stay away from buying more pairs if they all have the blue soles. I was looking at perhaps purchasing of the flats (you know, on September 8th with everyone else), but I think the blue soles on those will completely overwhelm the shoe unless it has a spikey heel. So we'll see.

Yay? Nay? Thoughts?

Yellow Lulu's Rosette Dress For the Win!

So I am quite impressed that 1,000 people voted in my little poll down below. Okay really it was 952 but I like to round up so we'll say, oh, 2,000. TEN THOUSAND OF YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT I AM GOING TO WEAR TO A WEDDING! IN WICHITA! That humbles me. It touches my heart. Especially because I am absolutely terrified of public speaking. It makes me feel like crawling under my computer desk and never coming out. The internet, man- it's magical.

Husband says of course you guys voted for that dress because I told you (in four different languages) to vote for that dress. Huh uh not so, Husband. My readers are not mindless minions. They just have super duper awesome good taste in fashion. HA HA HAAAA. HA! Except for my Scandinavian readers. I never did get around to translating the word "five" into Norwegian or Dutch. My sincerest apologies.

A few of you asked me to ditch the belt around the dress, which I understand. Believe me, I do. Except I can't do that. And here's why- sans belt, the dress quickly goes from this:

Preen.

To this:

(the one on the right, squint harder)

And I'm not having it. Nuh uh uh. The dress doesn't have a waist, I don't have a waist, and it's one big GIANT fucking disaster without the belt. So the belt is staying, although I will spend a little more time positioning it so I don't look like I have tiny squares topped in a decadent arrangement of yellow roses for boobs. Promisies.

Also, coincidentally, did you know there's a website called nursinghomeapparel.com? There is, and they sell the beltless version of the yellow rosette Lulu's dress, and I'm scared. I also feel kind of sad for the models. They probably set out thinking they were about to embark on a super glamorous awesome career in modeling and their agent was all, "Oh yeah, um, well, we've booked you...but we've booked you to model muumuu's and isolation gowns in Paris" and they thought it was a new trend on the runway for Chanel, Lagerfeld that crazy creative fuck, but no- it's actual muumuu's. And isolation gowns. For nursing homes and I would like to think in Paris, Texas. I feel their pain myself, being a headless model on Ebay. Oh it hurts.

What's that bitter taste in my mouth, readers? OH YEAH. IT'S THE BITTER TASTE OF DISAPPOINTMENT. I'd like to think that I'm worth much more than $199.99, thanks. And I am still waiting for this so-called lucrative Headless Ebay Modeling career to take me somewhere.

Waaaaiting.

Anyway. So the Lulu's dress wins, and thank you all for voting, and now I am so excited because I think Husband should have a turquoise tie (or at least a turquoise pocket square) to match without being too matchy-matchy. Pocket square, Husband? Yes? No? Yes?

Yes!

*runs*

Rodarte! (For Target!)

So in the excitement (smile & nod) of the past few weeks I managed to miss something very important. Very. Important. And quite frankly, readers, I'm a little disappointed that no one tuned me in on this little happening, a-hem.

RODARTE IS MOTHER FA-REAKING DOING A LINE FOR TARGET. RODARTE. TARGET. RODARTE + TARGET + RODARTE + TARGET = ♥!!

(It will probably be just as disappointing as all of the other Target designer collaborations but oh well, it is still exciting. Rodarte! Target!)

(RODARTE!)

(TARGET!)

(AND OMG HOLIDAY DRESSES!)

Okay so typing in capital letters and exclamation points makes me feel like I'm being all yelly and shouty and awwwesome, but I think that it probably isn't capturing the true essence of my excitement over this. The only way to really convey exactly how ecstatic I am over this collaboration (in stores December 20th!), darling readers, is to see it put into motion by a redheaded half-pint in pajamas:

The moves displayed right around minute 1:14 are especially poignant in pontificating my delectation over the Rodarte + Target collaboration. He really drives the point home- I kind of feel like tickling myself, too. Don't we all feel that way sometimes? Well done, little dude, well done.

(I think that I would totally have one of these too, by the way, if there were some sort of guarantee that it would pop out of my uterus being slightly tubby and redheaded and rhythmic. Oh! And wearing plaid pants. I don't think science has quite gotten that far yet, though. Bumm-er.)

(It'd also have to not poop and understand that it needs to be completely self-sufficient by the age of 12 and on its own by 13. We're not doing that teenager thing here, oh hellz no. Once it's done being cute, it's out the door. Come on science I am waiting.)

(Which is why I like chihuahuas. THEY ARE NEVER DONE BEING CUTE ha ha HAAAAA!)

(I...might still be popping pain meds for my tooth or lack thereof. It hurts.)

(Shut up, Chloe.)

(Shush.)

So. Uhh. I digress. Rodarte! Target! And Anna Sui arriving in stores (& online) September 13th. Fun times for Target, yes indeed.

Oh! And the Christian Siriano for Payless shoes arrived last week- pictures & a review will be up Monday!

Until then- I LIKE THAT BOOM BOOM POW. And he also really likes to spank himself. Aww, squeak sooocutegush.

Which Dress To Wear to the Wichita Wedding.

A quick recap:

• Dress #1: Modcloth Grass is Greener Dress

• Dress #2- Stewart and Brown Gray Ruffle Dress

• Dress #3: Velvet (Graham & Spencer) Brown Madalyn Dress:

• Dress #4- Tracy Reese Peplum Belted Dress
  

• Dress #5- Lulu's Sunny Day Rosette Dress

Dress #5

And last, but certainly not least, we have Dress #5. It's a dress I bought from Lulu's at the beginning of the summer and haven't (regrettably) blogged about yet. I will admit that I took to styling it very similarly as my ADAM Maxi dress; and oh sure I would love to wear the maxi dress to the wedding but let's be honest and reasonable here readers- dry-clean only chiffon swishing across the ground of a school playground on a hot, sweltering day in Wichita? And grubbing on some BBQ after the ceremony in it? I don't think so.

I also think a floor-length bright canary yellow dress would be a bit too much for the crowd in attendance. I'd blind them with my bad self homies, literally.

The Lulu's Sunny Day Rosette dress is awesome because it's machine washable! It's also oh-so-bright, oh-so-sunny, oh-so cheerful, and oh so very, very yellow:

It's also proof that you don't need to spend a shit-ton of money to feel good in something. I did the match with this- the dress ($35) plus the Target clutch ($19.99) plus the F21 Belt ($5!) plus the shoes (on clearance from Bakers for $20) equals a grand total of $79.99 for this entire outfit. $80! That's it! I have dresses that I've previewed this week worth four times that; yet here I am, secretly hoping you all pick this dress as the winner. Funny how that works, hm?

Also I am NOT pissed off, despite my scowl in picture #2. I'm just squinting in the sun. I am an absolute spaz whenever I'm out in it; it also means I have an entire wedding album full of pictures of my very own wedding (Husband and I got hitched on a beautiful sunny beach in Hawaii) while making this exact face right here:

It was either that or donning my sunnies in the middle of the ceremony, and in hindsight I am not sure what would have looked worse- me looking like I want to kill someone or me looking like the fourth blind mouse with a future so bright, she has to wear shades. Oh choices. Regrettably I chose the former, and so in most of my wedding photos I look really confused and/or like I want Husband to die. Ha ho, awesome.

So there you have it darlings; it's now time for the biiig decision. Voting begins soon- I can't wait (#5!) to see (cinco!) which dress (cinq!) you guys pick (五)!

Dress #4

I'll get right to it today, readers. No dilly-dallying.

Here's Dress #4, the ever-so-lovely Peplum Belted dress by Tracy Reese:

Paired again with my J Cr-...oh neigh, nevermind.


And here we have a 4-lb chihuahua running towards me like her butt is on fire. I know you all totally wanted to know what this dress looks like mere seconds before its wearer gets tackled and mauled with spazzy slimy puppy kissies. Now you know.



And here is Husband ambushing my photo shoot and posing for his very own OOTD and totally making fun of me which is kind of weird because I'm not the one wearing bright red shoes. BUT OH, I STILL LOVE YOU THE MOST HONEY. Even in red shoes. ♥



And here is Shaquille O'Neal holding a panda. Just 'cuz.


Dress #5 and voting begins tomorrow!

Dress #3

A little late today, I apologize. There's no real excuse- I had the day off from work, Husband and I got sucked into watching I Love You Man after he got home from work, and that is really about it. I am also pretty sure I have dry socket from getting my tooth (finally) yanked last week; thank god I keep a huge thingy of ground cloves on hand for when I make molasses cookies. Right? Right. Except now I have a cloying taste in my mouth similar to the Molasses Clove cookies from Dancing Deer, which isn't exactly a bad thing except everything I eat also tastes like it and let me tell you, it's not fun gumming up Macaroni and Cheese for the fourth day straight and having it taste like cloves. Ew. I can't wait for this sucker to heal up- in about four weeks I'll be getting a bridge done. I decided against the implant- too invasive, too much surgery, too many things that can go wrong, I know you all care, this is why I tell you.

(DIE SJOGREN'S SYNDROME AND FAILED ROOT CANAL. DIE DIE DIE DIE DIIIE.)

My next dress is a bittersweet-chocolate-brown stretchy little thing from Velvet (Graham + Spencer). Have I ever mentioned my love for Velvet? I love Velvet. They make the best dresses- not only are they big fans of ruching to keep everything sucked in, but almost every dress they make is machine washable! Plus the fabric is always soft and comfortable; wonderful and thick. This dress is like the equivalent of sweat pants, but only in a hot little dress form. Pure magic. It's called the Madalyn dress, and you can find it right here.

So without further ado, here is Dress #3 from zee very vonderful Velvet:

Paired of course (again) (I'm a one trick pony, what do you expect?) with the J Crew Perfectly Patent Pumps and Kooba Josie Clutch. You can just give up on hoping to see some different accessories, it ain't happenin'. I have necklaces from Target and Wiyomu layered around my neck, and bangles from Go Jane and American Eagle around my wrist.

Petunia decided to join in on the photo shoot today too. I thought she went very well with my dress. Good job, Peets. I know you worked very hard to match me so well.

Stay tuned for Dress #4 tomorrow!

Wednesday Wants (Fursty For The Fall)

One of my favorite designers has totally outdone herself for Fall 2009. Diane Von Furstenberg (or Fursty, as Husband has lovingly tagged her) shoved her models down the runway in a "Nomad"-inspired collection full of heavy tweeds, slouchy mixed-prints, swingy layers, generous jewel tones, and lots of...um, pom poms.

I kind of think...um...well, oh boy.

Pom-Pom hat aside (AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER FOR OCTOBER RIGHT NOW ZOMG) (can't you just see Whitney Port prancing around NYC in one? YEAH THAT'S THE PROBLEM) the rest of the collection is both luxurious and luscious; substantial without being obnoxiously audacious. It's sassy, it's saucy, and don't you just want to wrap yourself up and roll around in all of it?

This collection is an esteemed reminder of why DVF has dominated the fashion scene for years. Bitch knows how to make a dress, and knows how to make a dress well:

Even if her middle moddle is wearing super heavy duty dishwashing gloves with that pretty purple dress. Bish also knows how to make a jacket:

Bish also knows how to make a charming animal-print inspired scarf:

And I will begrudgingly admit that bish also knows how to make Chloe cry with a $950 pom-pom bag to go with the pom-pom hat oh yay:

Well, you can't always hit a home run, Fursty, so I understand. The delightful dresses, jackets, skirts, and tops more than make up for the odd assortment of Pom-Poms, so I forgive.

And while we're discussing DVF and dresses, here's my favorite dress by Fursty which I bought last year- the Sophia dress:

So pretty it hurts apparently, as you can tell from the pained expression splayed across my face. Either that or I have a bad bout of indigestion. It's really hard to tell sometimes.

Which unfortunately isn't a contender for the wedding next week due to the delicate nature of the fabric and me being a complete spaz when I eat BBQ (which will be served in abundance at the reception). And it's linen and wrinkles faster than my Gramma's nose after she realizes (with disdain) that she's missed her nightly viewing of CSI Miami. It's a wrinkly motherfucker bastard of a dress, so it's staying home. Pretty, though. Loves it. Even if the floozy known Lynne Spears popped up in it mere days after I purchased it for myself. Adorable ankle bracelet, Lynne. Always keepin' it classy, aren't ya.

I mean, it's bad enough that she is wearing MY dress but OMG SHE IS WEARING MY DRESS WITH AN ANKLE BRACELET FOR FUCK'S SAKE UGH SALT IN MY WOUNDS GAHAHAHAHHHH@#$("@#$*!!SSSLAPSLAPSLAP WAIL.

So! Uh I digress. What do you guys think of DVF's fall collection? Charming? Winsome? Or a bit too "Vagabond Pom-Pom"? Share in the comments, kittens!

Dress #2

Most of you have already seen pictures of this dress, but it's a definite contender and the only snaps I have because today is an awful, horrible, rain-soaked gusher of a day. It's like a hurricane outside. Scary.

Cloudy days makes for bad indoor lighting. Bad indoor lighting makes for NO NEW PICTURES.

Here is Dress #2 from the ever-so-lovely Stewart and Brown:

Paired with Vera Wang pearls and once again with my Kooba Clutch and J Crew Perfectly Patent Pumps. I have bought a new slip to wear, one that you can't see but covers what needs to be covered, so ignore the slip shot in picture #3.

I love this dress, I really do- but is it too close to white?

Stay tuned for Dress #3 tomorow!

Dress #1

Husband and I are going to a wedding in two weeks. Let me give you a bit of background on this wedding:

1. It's in Wichita, KS. Yee-haw.

2. It will be not in a church, but on the elementary school playground where the Groom and Bride went to elementary school together. I know, right? Mush. Mush mush mush. The cuteness of this, I die.

3. Bride has dictated "Casual dress on the invites", but the bride herself will be decked out in a full wedding gown. A very pretty gown, I must say. I've seen it.

4. Bride will be wearing a Stormtrooper garter. Um please don't ask how I know this. I love you Etsy...BUT NOOOOOOOOO.

5. Husband has asserted that he is NOT GOING TO WICHITA, KANSAS TO A WEDDING JUST SO HE CAN LOOK LIKE HE IS FROM WICHITA, KANSAS.

So! There you have it, my lambs. Each day I will post a dress, and on Friday we will vote on the dress. Sound good? Good.

Here is the first dress, Modcloth's Grass is Always Greener Dress:

Maybe with a flower in my hair?


Or perhaps a pretty necklace from Noteworthy Necklaces off of Etsy?


I think the necklace wins (thanks wiyomu for such a lovely creation!), along with a wide belt from F21, my Kooba clutch, and (of course!) my J Crew Perfectly Patent Heels. This dress also gets a thumbs up for being machine washable, perfect for the sloppy BBQ we will be chowing down on after the wedding.

Stay tuned for Dress #2 tomorrow!