Lately, I have found myself strangely gravitating towards things that are completely out of the realm of what I typically like. Lace, Chloe? Leopard print? Polka dots?!
Okay, that's taking it a bit too far.
I remember a moment a few years back, as Husband and I shot up I-25 for something in Denver, that I was sitting in the passenger seat of the Sky and staring as I usually do out the window at the pine trees and passing cars. This moment is poignant in an odd sort of way, as we whisked past a car full of senior citizens driving depressingly slow, and in the back seat of that car sat a lady clad in what I would guess would be her best leopard print blouse. It was a loud, bold print of leopard- this leopard wasn't fucking around- and probably vintage and/or found on the clearance rack of J. C. Penney's two decades earlier.
It was a bit of an odd outfit choice for a lady who looked to be 80, perhaps 79.5 on a good day, wearing her best pair of Noir sunglasses while in a car full of equally-as-old men dressed in dapper gray suits, no doubt driving to a funeral or a church social or a buffet or wherever it is a car-full of old people go to cut a rug and have fun on a Saturday afternoon.
"I wonder." I said, pausing for dramatic effect as I turned to Husband, knowing full well he had also witnessed the sight, "I wonder if those old fogies know they have a hooker sitting in the back of their car?"
A moment which, readers, I remember completely cracking me up to the point of tears over it (and admittedly, I also now remember with a bit of shame now- I was making fun of a little old lady I didn't know, why?) is now also again cracking me up for a completely different reason-
'Cuz guys? I'm totally now that hooker in the back of that car.
Karma! Hooray!
So okay, it's a bit of a crude and rather blatant stereotype Chloe, sheesh- I think we all know that our favorite local ladies of the night have (hopefully) become a bit more subtle and sublime in their choice of attire and moved on from the leopard and lace of yore so as to not be so predictable- but there's something so gleefully, festively tacky about leopard print (AND DON'T FORGET THE LACE!), readers, that has made me all flummoxed and twitterpated as of late.
Perhaps it's the challenge of wearing it- I do enjoy a good challenge, and what's a better challenge than wearing leopard and lace together without looking like a floozy? It's a great challenge, actually, a fantastic challenge- perhaps even better than the challenge of wearing 5" heels for more than 10 minutes and not be wincing and limping in pain and ready to yank them off your feet, willy nilly.
It might even be an impossible challenge. After all, you absolutely must have the right hair, the right make-up, the right accessories, the right laissez faire attitude and chutzpah- or else you will risk looking like a total tootsied tart in whatever animal-printed attire you choose.
('Cept for the animal-print bravely showcased in this post. Then you'll just look sad and totally like the type of little girl that will grow up to obviously make fun of others for wearing leopard print....while secretly wearing it herself.)
In other words- caveat emptor, my darlings. Meow.
So! That means it's outfit of the day time. The following Forever 21 dress is super fun but definitely runs the risk of being a bit...well, risque. It could perhaps be a bit more justifiable with full opaque tights, something I realized only after snapping these pics, of course.
It's also ridiculously short. In other words- this isn't the dress to wear while volunteering to pick up trash on the side of the road on a really windy day. Got it? Good. Wear a different dress for that, please.
Also, the coat, love it:
"I wonder." I said, pausing for dramatic effect as I turned to Husband, knowing full well he had also witnessed the sight, "I wonder if those old fogies know they have a hooker sitting in the back of their car?"
A moment which, readers, I remember completely cracking me up to the point of tears over it (and admittedly, I also now remember with a bit of shame now- I was making fun of a little old lady I didn't know, why?) is now also again cracking me up for a completely different reason-
'Cuz guys? I'm totally now that hooker in the back of that car.
Karma! Hooray!
So okay, it's a bit of a crude and rather blatant stereotype Chloe, sheesh- I think we all know that our favorite local ladies of the night have (hopefully) become a bit more subtle and sublime in their choice of attire and moved on from the leopard and lace of yore so as to not be so predictable- but there's something so gleefully, festively tacky about leopard print (AND DON'T FORGET THE LACE!), readers, that has made me all flummoxed and twitterpated as of late.
Perhaps it's the challenge of wearing it- I do enjoy a good challenge, and what's a better challenge than wearing leopard and lace together without looking like a floozy? It's a great challenge, actually, a fantastic challenge- perhaps even better than the challenge of wearing 5" heels for more than 10 minutes and not be wincing and limping in pain and ready to yank them off your feet, willy nilly.
It might even be an impossible challenge. After all, you absolutely must have the right hair, the right make-up, the right accessories, the right laissez faire attitude and chutzpah- or else you will risk looking like a total tootsied tart in whatever animal-printed attire you choose.
('Cept for the animal-print bravely showcased in this post. Then you'll just look sad and totally like the type of little girl that will grow up to obviously make fun of others for wearing leopard print....while secretly wearing it herself.)
In other words- caveat emptor, my darlings. Meow.
So! That means it's outfit of the day time. The following Forever 21 dress is super fun but definitely runs the risk of being a bit...well, risque. It could perhaps be a bit more justifiable with full opaque tights, something I realized only after snapping these pics, of course.
It's also ridiculously short. In other words- this isn't the dress to wear while volunteering to pick up trash on the side of the road on a really windy day. Got it? Good. Wear a different dress for that, please.
Also, the coat, love it:
Dress: Forever 21 Leopard and Lace Dress (click here)
Shoes: Miss Sixty Rachel Pumps in Magenta (click here) (similar style here for only $62!)
Coat: Forever 21 Twist French Chic Overcoat (click here- but sold out, boo!) (similar style here) (and here) (and here for $99)
Socks: J Crew (click here)
Belt: Forever 21 (similar here) (and here)
Bag: Marc Jacobs Kristina Crossbody in Violet (click here) (similar style here) (and here)
Necklace: Target (similar style here) (and here) (and here for $21)
Chloe, Colorful Colorado. 5'8" (only) when teetering in her highest 6 inch Miu Miu platform heels. Likes fashion, broccoli, ice cream, clarifying that she does not eat ice cream with her broccoli as to not cause worldwide panic, hoarding beauty products & pretty shoes, tickle fights with her husband (he would like to clarify that he does not like them back, OKAY?), anything covered in sprinkles, any alcoholic beverage made with Tang, live music, clicking the camera, sarcasm fonts, vases stuffed full of pretty flowers, and laughing hard until her belly hurts. Wants an adventurous life, lots of puppies, to never obtusely wander around with her fly down, and to be an iconic Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress with a bright, festive print when she grows up. This is where she bravely documents it all. (