...then why can't it get us back out?"
-Will Rogers
Stevie gave me a book lamp as a stocking stuffer for Christmas. Which is awesome- I'm an avid reader and I often like to read before bed, but there's the whole conundrum of having lights on while Husband is trying to sleep. Especially if it's during the week- he works 12 hour days and has to be up by 5 AM, and me declaring that I absolutely must get to the end of whatever novel I'm reading with all of the bedroom lights on, sleep be damned! Well, it's a little inappropriate.
I can be mean, but I'm not that mean. Well, most of the time. Read on.
So I got a book lamp. I decided to give it a test run a few days ago. It was 5 AM, I had awoken at some point and couldn't go back to sleep, and so I decided to do some reading and turned my book lamp on. Light shot out like a little laser beam.
"What is that?" Husband groggily asked, stirring and waking up as his alarm began to buzz.
"A book lamp!" I said.
"A...book lamp? So you can read in the dark?" He squinted at me through the darkness.
"Yes. So I can read in the dark. It's fancy. It swivels and turns and moves up and down." I said, demonstrating. Husband is a little slow when he first wakes up. He is slow in a really cute, sleepy sort of way. I'm just slow in a really mean sort of way when I first fall out of slumber. Chloe Monster, roar.
"Oh. A book lamp." he said, thinking for a few seconds. "That's...that's...that's kind of dorky."
And so that's when, dear readers, I swiveled my super fancy high-powered book lamp. I swiveled it and, oh yes- I beamed him right in the eyeballs.
Best present ever! Thanks, Stevie!
Also, I just finished Fall On Your Knees and I really want to know- how does one come up with such disturbing shit? For fiction? And why does Oprah keep picking it? And most importantly, why do I keep thinking that I'll like a book just 'cuz Oprah liked it? I don't even like Oprah! Oh my god!
-Will Rogers
Stevie gave me a book lamp as a stocking stuffer for Christmas. Which is awesome- I'm an avid reader and I often like to read before bed, but there's the whole conundrum of having lights on while Husband is trying to sleep. Especially if it's during the week- he works 12 hour days and has to be up by 5 AM, and me declaring that I absolutely must get to the end of whatever novel I'm reading with all of the bedroom lights on, sleep be damned! Well, it's a little inappropriate.
I can be mean, but I'm not that mean. Well, most of the time. Read on.
So I got a book lamp. I decided to give it a test run a few days ago. It was 5 AM, I had awoken at some point and couldn't go back to sleep, and so I decided to do some reading and turned my book lamp on. Light shot out like a little laser beam.
"What is that?" Husband groggily asked, stirring and waking up as his alarm began to buzz.
"A book lamp!" I said.
"A...book lamp? So you can read in the dark?" He squinted at me through the darkness.
"Yes. So I can read in the dark. It's fancy. It swivels and turns and moves up and down." I said, demonstrating. Husband is a little slow when he first wakes up. He is slow in a really cute, sleepy sort of way. I'm just slow in a really mean sort of way when I first fall out of slumber. Chloe Monster, roar.
"Oh. A book lamp." he said, thinking for a few seconds. "That's...that's...that's kind of dorky."
And so that's when, dear readers, I swiveled my super fancy high-powered book lamp. I swiveled it and, oh yes- I beamed him right in the eyeballs.
Best present ever! Thanks, Stevie!
Also, I just finished Fall On Your Knees and I really want to know- how does one come up with such disturbing shit? For fiction? And why does Oprah keep picking it? And most importantly, why do I keep thinking that I'll like a book just 'cuz Oprah liked it? I don't even like Oprah! Oh my god!
Chloe, Colorful Colorado. 5'8" (only) when teetering in her highest 6 inch Miu Miu platform heels. Likes fashion, broccoli, ice cream, clarifying that she does not eat ice cream with her broccoli as to not cause worldwide panic, hoarding beauty products & pretty shoes, tickle fights with her husband (he would like to clarify that he does not like them back, OKAY?), anything covered in sprinkles, any alcoholic beverage made with Tang, live music, clicking the camera, sarcasm fonts, vases stuffed full of pretty flowers, and laughing hard until her belly hurts. Wants an adventurous life, lots of puppies, to never obtusely wander around with her fly down, and to be an iconic Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress with a bright, festive print when she grows up. This is where she bravely documents it all. (
Ha-ha, the instant Oprah endorses a book I stop being interested.
ReplyDeleteAlso, that sounds like an awesome gift--it can be nice, or cruel. But remember, with great power comes great responsibility...
I agree with the Clothes Horse. Every book O had reccomended has tortured my brain and given me anxiety. I love that you beemed him straight in the eyes. *Must remember that for future torture on husband/children/dog*
ReplyDeleteHave you read "The Glass Castle"? That's a doozy. Summs up my childhood quite well, it gave my older sister flash backs!
I have never read a book that Oprah recommended that I liked.
ReplyDeletewe have an opposite problem - boyfriend insists on surfing the web before bedtime when all I want to do is sleep. I wake up earlier than him because it takes me longer to get ready and I can't sleep unless it's pitch-black. Argh, boyfriend!
ReplyDeleteah, fall on your knees. I read that book many years ago.. i really liked it, actually, despite the fact that it was totally disturbing.
Aww, I'm sorry you didn't like it. I looooved Fall On Your Knees! One of my faves, actually! MacDonald's follow up novel - not so much.
ReplyDeleteOprah's books are totally hit or miss. One of her old picks, The Wrath of Canaan, is the.worst.book.ever. written. Her picks tend to revolve around some form of child abuse don't they? Enough angst already!
The Clothes Horse- I know, right? That should be an instant red flag- Oprah likes this, so I should NOT be interested! Oprah also likes Ralph Lauren cashmere sweaters (meh) and to plaster her face all over her magazines every month!
ReplyDeleteBut I get sucked in every, stupid, time. Arrrgh. Such an evil marketing machine. >:(
Shasta- I haven't, but I've been meaning to! O didn't recommend that book, did she? I see it everytime I'm at Target and never get around to picking it up...
ReplyDeletejoangee- I know. I need to give up. Arrrrrrrrgh.
ReplyDeleteTanya- You know, that's the strange thing. I thought the book was beautifully written- as in, if the author decided to write about anything else (ANYTHING ELSE) I would buy it.
ReplyDeleteIt was just such a disturbing novel. It made me feel all pukey. :(
Same with The House of Sand and Fog. I thought I was going to get through that one and finally have an Oprah Recommended Novel that I liked...until I got to the end. Ohmygosh, I had nightmares for days. :|
Paper Bag Princess- They do! Every single one I've read has had some sort of element of child abuse in it. I'd just like for her to pick a nice, happy, fluffy novel. Just once. Sometimes we need nice, happy, fluffy novels.
ReplyDeleteI really thought Fall On Your Knees was beautifully written. I just hated what it was about. Ugggh- it simply isn't a subject matter that I want to dedicate my free time reading about, you know? :(
I agree, Fall on Your Knees was very well written and sucked me right in, but that doesn't make up the serious case of heebies.
ReplyDeleteAlso kind of funny: I was just thinking I should ask you how that book light was working out, LOL.
IT IS AWESOME THANKS.
ReplyDeleteI've never liked any of Oprah's picks. My dad & stepmom gave me a book light for Christmas & I LOVE it! Thankfully, Mr. Potts really likes me using it too.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever checked out bookmooch? It is a free book sharing site, super cool!
ReplyDelete